We can’t talk if you think I’m crazy

I’m doing a thing right now that I don’t usually do, but I’m so worked up about it that I can’t help myself. A piece by Catherine Deveny popped up in my Facebook feed today, posted by a woman I greatly admire, who agreed with the sentiment in the article.

I don’t.

The more I read it, the more I felt myself being belittled, attacked and marginalized, and the more I felt that the argument being put reduced my relationship with my husband to some patriarchal dominance game in which I was the unwitting slave to his Lord of the Manor.

Anyone who has ever met my husband will know that’s complete rubbish, and most of the people who know me will think the concept flat out hilarious.

You do know what Stockholm Syndrome is?

You do realise we won’t get anywhere nodding and smiling?

You do realise your internalised misogyny is showing?

This is the problem for me… I see no issue what-so-ever with taking my husbands name (or the reverse, or leaving it all the same quite frankly) and from my perspective that’s a perfectly legitimate position to have. I find it FAR more problematic to express my social, political or theological perspectives on a relationship between consenting adults. But there’s the rub… I’ve got Stockholm Syndrome and internalised misogyny. I have an unbalanced view of the world which leads all my conclusions to be skewed… in effect, we can’t talk about this. We can’t talk about this because you think I’m compromised, that I’m not capable of making my own decisions, forming my own opinions or saying what I actually mean.

I have no problem with people making choices they know are wrong. Just own it and stop defending it. I know I should be a vegetarian for environmental reasons. I’m not. I like meat. I know it’s wrong.

“Yep. I took his surname because of society’s expectation. Also he would be upset if I didn’t, and his family would give me hell. I like being liked. It makes me feel like he owns me and that makes me feel loved and secure. I know it’s sexist.”

Look up Stockholm Syndrome. Look up internalised misogyny. Look up cognitive dissonance. You’re welcome.

Choices they know are wrong.

The funny thing is, I don’t have to defend it, and I’m deciding right now to not allow someone to make me feel that I have to. My family understands our story, and there is nothing in it that I have to defend. We made mistakes, sure, we had our first daughter VERY early, and that could have gone VERY wrong (I don’t recommend having a baby after being with someone for 3 months, it’s not ‘wrong’ but it’s not recommended) and we stumbled through getting our lives and our relationship in order. That’s OK.

I don’t have to convince someone on the internet that my husband doesn’t feel like he owns me, nor do I feel owned. What I feel is included, not the same. When we were engaged, my husband had a pout one day because I had an engagement ring, something I could wear to show people proudly that I was in a serious relationship with someone to whom I had made a commitment and who had made a commitment to me. So, I went out with my best friend, and we found him a ring. Something that matched mine in design but would fit his big man-fingers, and then I asked him to marry me and wear my ring. Happiest guy ever.

Both my husband and I have parents for whom, marriage didn’t work out. For all of my husbands life, he lived with family who didn’t share his name. I don’t even know what my mother’s face looks like, she hasn’t looked at me since I was 18 months old, and she no longer uses the name I grew up with.

We’re the first generation of our families in a while who have pulled this stuff together. Maybe it’ll last forever? Maybe it wont, but we’ve promised ourselves and each other that no matter what, our girls are going to know a different life than we did. This is in no way meant to say our parents were bad, or that we had terrible childhoods, we didn’t, the man who raised me was a great dad, and the woman who raised my husband (with the help of his big sister) is a wonderful woman, but we missed things. I know for example that when I was in labor, I asked for my mother… a woman I don’t know, but in that moment I WANTED her, I wanted that connection with someone who would understand, and it wasn’t there.

That will never happen to my daughters.

My husband and I wear the trappings of our marriage proudly. We love all of the ways that we’re traditional (the rings, sharing one name, having a mortgage… OK that last one maybe less) and all of the ways that we’re not (he’s very home oriented while I’m the one with more ambitions outside the home, he has more shoes than I do, and I’ve been training in martial arts since I was 4 while he once got in a bit of a wrestling match… one time. He’s so zen *g*)

 97% of the people who are going the ‘It’s her personal choice stop tearing Mrs. Clooney to shreds’ are in a marriage where the woman has changed her name. Sad, disturbing and typical how people’s subjective choices get in the way of the reality of understanding enabling systemic sexism. Or even understanding the issue. Which is not suprising. These people are the ones saying ‘it’s just easier’ ‘but I wanted to’ ‘but I hated my surname’ ‘my father was an arsehole’ ‘it’s just easier’ ‘why do you keep going about this’ ‘my husband would have been happy to change his name but I ended up doing it’ ‘because tradition’ ‘it’s just your fathers name anyway’. (No. it’s not. It’s your name. And using that logic you are not taking you husband’s name but your father-in-law’s name.)

This position has no room for someone like me. It wasn’t easier, paperwork blows chunks and I still haven’t done it all! I’m a split personality on paper, I keep finding Cassandra Jones in my wallet or on my tax return etc. Trust me, it’s easier to leave it the hell alone. My surname was fine, I have a family tree that goes back 1500 years and I’m intensely proud of it. My father is a wonderful man, and yes, Jones was MY name.

None of that negates the fact that I DID (and do) want to share one name with this family that I’ve created with my husband. My girls are part German and part Welsh, they know words from three languages and learn about the history of their people… their last name is quite German, so their first names are Welsh. We’ve used a million little threads to tie our lives together, to build into everything we do that we’re a family, that we’re in this together. No one owns me, and no one owns my daughters, but we are a part of something together.

The problem is none of that matters does it? It’s not really my choice at all, because I have internalised misogyny that I may not even be aware of and it’s forcing me to behave this way. What kind of rational discussion can we have from that position? Nothing I say matters, because I don’t really understand what I’m talking about, I’m so brainwashed I can’t see it. I’ve been placed in a box with all the other silly women who don’t know what they’re talking about or what’s best for them and are either delusional or lying. It’s great, this placing women in boxes business, isn’t it, so much easier than practicing acceptance for opinions and positions other than your own.

 

The Filing Fairies

Do you ever see those images on Pinterest of perfect homes, with designer furniture? The ones with the perfectly plumped cushions on the lounge and a photo book on the coffee table?

Whilst the perfect home and designer furniture might take some work the photo book can be realistically achieved…. through good organisation!

Today’s guest post is from fellow AusMumpreneur nominee and Professional Organiser Mara Morrison of The Filing Fairies.

Do you say to yourself I wish I had time to turn some of my photos into coffee table worthy books? Do you ever even look at your photos anymore? Are most of your images still on your smart phone only to be referred to when you run out of storage space and have to delete some?

Photo clutter is on the increase and more and more people are contacting The Filing Fairies looking for a solution to the overwhelming feeling of being up to the eyeballs in images and not knowing where to start. Those images are piling up around them and depending on the age of the clients they cover the full range from negatives, slides and prints to digital images on memory cards, CD, USB, hard drive, iPhone, iPad, cloud and a plethora of photo storing software programs. No matter what format your precious memories are in we understand that all you want to do is to use and enjoy your photos and have peace of mind that they are safe. Am I right? Do you remember the last time you looked at your photos? Could you find a specific image from a particular date or event quickly?

We use the by line or if you are that way inclined the hashtag #organiseutiliseenjoy

The Filing Fairies primary purpose is to help you overcome that overwhelming feeling and get your images organised. Once organised we can show you how easy it is to utilise your photos in photobooks, slide shows and all the other display options in the current market (or we can do it for you). Once utilised the enjoyment for you and others comes naturally. As does the peace of mind that you can easily ensure the safety of those images with regular backups. The best thing of all is we can teach you a really simple way to STAY organised so you don’t end up overwhelmed all over again.

One of my all-time favourite quotes is this

guest image 02

Think about your kitchen for example, if your fridge is full of fresh healthy ingredients and your meals planned in advance how much easier is it to do the right thing?

Getting you over that initial hurdle; be it digitising shoe boxes worth of old prints and slides or searching for images on numerous devices the magic we work is manipulating your environment to make the things you should be doing (i.e. utilising and enjoying your precious photos) easy. AND it’s so easy that even if you do fall into old habits for a little while, you can get back on track quickly and without too much difficulty.

The secret….well it’s no secret really it’s the MOON walk! Moonwalk you say? Like Michael Jackson? Yep that’s it the moonwalk! It’s the 4 step process we nicknamed the MOON walk. It stands for the simple steps; muster, organise, observe (& purge) and name. You can learn the simple steps over on Fairytales – The Blog.

Our organise > utilise > enjoy model/technique/hypothesis (call it what you will) can apply to soooooooooo many situations and life scenarios. The kitchen was one other one we mentioned, can you think of any others? I hope we have inspired you to think ‘organised’ and look for ways to ‘hide the cookies’.

The Work Dilemma

There’s nothing that arc’s families up more than the work dilemma… How many hours? How much money? Do you sacrifice quality time with the family? Where is the family unit going, and how are we going to get there?

I’m a member of an online mothers group and this week another mother posted a problem that began with “So my partner is quitting his full-time job.” Now, this is Tassie, jobs are scarce and the economy is in the toilet so around here that’s a pretty big statement. The situation was laid out thusly; he doesn’t like it, he’s been there 2 weeks and he’s going to walk. No plan to get anything else, and mumma aint happy.

work dilemma 10% Inspired

Does going to work look like a chore?

How important is the job and income of your spouse?

 

My guess would be that it has a lot to do with how you’ve organized your lives. I’m not a great person to talk to about this kind of thing, my husband works three days a week in a warehouse for minimum wage, and that’s fine. He’s not driven, he’s not a pole climber, his ideal world would have him able to stay home with his kids all the time. In fact, in the end, that’s almost certainly what will happen. He’s doing ‘survival work’ right now, so that I can get all my little ducks in a row, and then he’ll be a kept daddy. I’m OK with this, he’s much better about doing the laundry and dishes than I am.

The post got me thinking about a conversation I had with my sister. Her husband has a good, full time government job. He gets promoted in the usual kind of fashion and financially their bank balance looks quite a bit nicer than mine (at least on pay day!) She asked me if I would rather my hubby be more like that? It’s nice to have more money, but she admitted that she’d really like it if her husband were more into being at home and spending time with her and their son. We both agreed that you probably can’t have both outside of a romance novel.

It’s a question worth considering. Would I want my husband to have a high paying job that demanded much more of his attention, seeing as that would mean less time and energy for him to spend at home with us? For me, it’s not a hard question; emphatically no.

Don’t get me wrong, having more money would be lovely. The washing machine is kinda on its way out and I’d do any number of illegal things to be able to afford a cleaner! A single item of brand new clothing might be nice (haven’t bought one of them in many years.) The cost of all that money would be that I’d see my husband less than I do now. As it is, I don’t like the days when he’s at work – this parenting gig isn’t really my bag. The girls are champions at getting under my skin, when they get sick I freak out, I’m not as imaginative at playing with them and they make it pretty well impossible for me to get anything done. I know, I sound like a man…

We don’t have a huge amount of money… 2 minute noodles are eaten often. The house we’ve bought hasn’t been updated since the 70s and there are NO power points in the bathroom (Seriously?!?!?!) But we can afford it on three days a week at a warehouse and the family tax benefits I get. We’re slowly making it livable, and husband gets to be home with us 4 days a week instead of 2. I’m OK with that.

10% Inspired

This is my kitchen. Check out the cupboards!

The One who didn’t want to get away

Most people have had one of those one-sided relationships. You know, the kind where you watch them at social engagements, you might even be friends, hang out, but all the while you’re secretly thinking how sweet they are. How kind. How amazing his eyes are. How cute his hair looks… how utterly irresistible it is when he’s a little drunk and singing dorky sci/fi themed songs in the living room.

OK, this guy might not be completely hypothetical for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a happily married woman! I have two beautiful girls, three if you count the dog, we’re financially stable and happy. Life is pretty freakin’ good actually. Still, there’s always that ONE guy, the one you never even made an overture to because he was so completely and totally out of your league.

Only it turns out he wasn’t. This particular friend and I have long since lost touch, just through the normal progression of things, and he’s up and married a lovely girl, but just recently I reconnected with his old housemate. This housemate is probably one of the best people in the world – during my university drinking-to-much-and-not-sleeping-enough phase, their couch was my home away from home and it was house-mate guy who always tucked a blanket over me. Held my hair back while I made sick in the toilet (or bucket) and finally cooked me breakfast when I sobered up. House-mate guy is also a mad keen sci fi nerd so when the opportunity came up for me to go to a con in his new home city and crash once more on his glorious couch, I took it!

Turns out, Mr. ridiculously tall with beautiful eyes and cute hair… he was into me the WHOLE TIME!

What the hell? The few years we moved in the same circles, I always assumed I was ‘weird girl who turns up with X friend all the time’, when apparently I was ‘that sci fi chick who plays WoW and thinks we’re cool cuz we play desk-top D&D.’

My whole life I’ve watched those comedy-of-errors romantic movies where two idiots dance back and forth when everyone else can tell they’re totally into each other. I was the one throwing pop corn at the screen screaming “You’re too stupid to have a relationship if you can’t see what’s going on here!” I thought surely, surely no one is this oblivious, this slow to the uptake, this hopeless in love?

Yeah… that’s me.

Still, it gives one an appreciation of how sometimes, things happen in so specific a way that you think fate must have had something to do with it. After years of dancing around this guy, hopelessly smitten with him and completely oblivious to the fact that he was crushing on me too, we drifted away from each other. In the end, I married a guy quite similar to him… I met him in a bar, being FAR more daring and brave than I actually am, for reasons I can never clearly remember. I remember seeing him at the bar, and somehow, 10 minutes later he’d abandoned his mates and was hanging out with mine instead… Why was I able to do that with the guy who eventually became my husband and the father of my kids, and not with a similar gentleman not so long before?

Maybe I learned my lesson? Maybe part of me always DID know there was something there, and when I saw it again I wasn’t about to be a great big chicken a second time? Maybe in the time that had passed, I’d learned to grab the bull by the horns? Or maybe, just maybe, Mr. Tall dark and geeky had to swan in and out of my life like the Ghost of Christmas yet to come, so that when my husband-to-be ended up next to me in a bar on the waterfront I wouldn’t just blush and look away. I wouldn’t promptly poop myself and retreat like a startled rabbit. Instead, head up and girls shown to best advantage, I’d sidle up beside him, explain that I’d had a terrible night and it was absolutely imperative that a steal a mouthful of his Vodka Red bull, thus giving him the opening to hit me with his million watt smile and hand the damn thing over like a gentle-nerd who knows when not to cross the cleric.

The Blogging 101 Seminar

On Monday this week, I held a blogging 101 seminar right here in Hobart. Many minds blown! Hobart is often the forgotten state capital when it comes to things like this, and that’s a crying shame.

We covered basic things, things that for some reason the internet likes to just assume you know. As thought you should have been born knowing the difference between widgets and plugins, what hosting is, how to use mail chimp, and what WordPress is for. There was a little bit of nervousness on the part of my attendees, they didn’t necessarily want to ask the questions they knew they needed to, for fear of the question being silly.

It’s terrible and ridiculous that the online environment has made people feel that way. There are no silly questions. Every single one was cogent and realistic, and they were things these women needed to know about if they were going to navigate the world of business blogging.

The experience has only reinvigorated my determination to demystify all this online stuff. To lay it out so that more people can join the conversation and feel comfortable and confident in doing so!

Seminar outcomes for 10%

  1. More classes of this kind. Small numbers, cups of tea and maybe a cake or two, and any and all questions that you couldn’t ask at a big venue.
  2. Explore the possibility of large events as well, progressing into some more advanced or nuanced subjects.
  3. Compile an e-book covering the basics – the things most asked about in the 101 classes for people who would like to get into blogging but find the whole business confusing.

3 ways Organisation is like Exercise

Today I’m going to talk about 3 ways that Organization is like Exercise. Everyone wants to be organized… get it done, make progress, and feel like a grown up. Maybe that last one is just me.

The internet is full of how-to’s when it comes to getting organized, which suggests to me that a lot of us are living in a disorganized state. Certainly I am, and it causes me quite a bit of stress. So I get the lists and the rosters and I try to make it work… but it’s too much and invariably I swing back to the barely controlled chaos that is my house and life where I scrape by on the skin of my teeth and everything seems designed to give me heart failure.

Why do the attempts fail? Why is it SO hard to get organized and stay that way? I have a theory.

Organization is like Exercise

Hear me out.

Going from disorganized to organized is a similar transformation to going from unfit, to fit. It involves changing a huge number of behaviors, sometimes reversing many of them, and then a commitment to stick to these changes…

1) Big changes beg for failure

People who throw out all their chocolate and insist they’re going to do an hour of heavy exercise a day from now on… almost always fall off the wagon. They end up hurting themselves, becoming disheartened and giving up, or giving in to that curly wurly on the counter at Coles which leads to a massive downward spiral of pasta and sugar.

Most people will tell you that the best way to start exercising, to change your life, is to make small changes first that are easy to stick to. We’re looking here for a ratio of relatively small amount of effort, but that will see real changes (so you get to feel good about it.) For fitness that’s often swapping to water for most of your drinks, and maybe addressing your portion percentages so you’re dinner is the same size, but more of it is vegetables.

Then, once that’s a habit and doesn’t take conscious work, you slide in another one. I have two 3ltr milk jugs full of water, and every time I go to the bathroom, I do squats with them. It’s weird I know but my count has gone from 5 (aka pathetic flabby bottom) to 15. I was at 2o for a while but got sick and lost some.

So, make small, easy to stick to changes which will give you a noticeable result first.

2) Wagons exist to be fallen from.

Say it with me people, if it’s a wagon you had to scramble onto, like as not, your tush is coming off at least once on the bumpy road to the lifestyle you want. It’s OK, changing your body and brain is freakin’ hard work! Exercise and diet professionals all say to be kind to yourself. Not to dwell on mistakes or allow them to make you give up.

If you muck up and the living room looks like a bomb site, that’s OK. It happens. You skipped all of Monday’s list and now you’re behind… keep in mind you’re no where near as behind as you were to start with! My dad likes to say that it’s almost impossible to put on more weight than the thing you ate weighs… so even if you did scarf that entire block of chocolate, it’s a 250gram mistake. Don’t blow everything you’ve worked for over 250grams.

3) The mental health benefits are real!

As someone who suffers from PND, I can tell you think one is completely true! A Therapist once told me that even if you can’t do ANYTHING else that day, clean one room and sit in it for a while. Shove everything in a cupboard if you have to, but sit for a while in a clean, organized room, it will make you feel better. It really does.

How much of that is our adult brains trained to think we need to have a pristine house (this probably applies a bit to women in particular), and fear we’ll be judged harshly if the place isn’t spotless, I have no idea but that probably is part of it. Another is the reflection of space on yourself… if you’re sitting in a space which is messy or ‘busy’ it’s likely your mind too with be busy. Busy minds aren’t great for depression, calm is much better and a clean space is calm.

Do you fall off the organization wagon sometimes? How do you pull it all back together?

Organization and procrastination – 3 ways to not be THAT writer

Ah, organization and procrastination… my old friends! Constant companions. Time sucking, success stealing, headache inducing clingers on.

For some people, organization is something they do, and then they have a plan. They follow the plan, and the goal is accomplished. Not me though, that would actually be useful. What I tend to do is organize and plan… then reassess. Realize there’s a problem. Reorganize. Lay out a plan according to this new organization. Bugger, something doesn’t fit, back to the drawing board! All this means that really, if I’d skipped the planning phase and just dived in head first, sure I might have made some mistakes, but I’d have fixed those, and the second round of mistakes, and finished the task by now. Instead I’m sitting here looking as a plan that reads like the playbook for an American football team, no one understands it, not even me, which means… DAMNIT I now have to start organizing again!

My organization resolution to myself… is to stop trying to be so organized. It’s not working for me. Instead I am implementing a seriously personal, seriously tailored philosophy… you read for it?

I’m gonna do whatever works!

Revolutionary huh? I have too many notebooks and journals, I write my stories out of order and all over the place, I have 50million irons in the fire all at one time, and you know what, the internet can bite me because I work better that way!

So, my 3 ways to not be that writer (the one who never actually writes anything)

1) My notebooks stay. All of them. If I have to lug a ton of notebooks around with me then so freakin’ be it. I like my notebooks, I like my fountain pen, I LIKE that I look like a mad woman sorting through all these books in a cafe trying to find the one that relates to the specific story about which I just had a brilliant idea. Stare all you like, I’m going to be published someday! So there.

2) I am going to continue to write my stories out of order, as the scenes come to me, then come back and polish it smooth later. I like doing it that way, it works for me. I build playlists of songs for each project, and each song ends up representing a character, a plot thread or a scene and I write them out almost like a music video. Yes, I’m nuts, but that’s OK.

3) On top of all of that, there is one thing I need. One thing we all need, and it’s the one thing the internet has right most of the time… I need to be fearless. Leap before I look, run, trip, fall, throw it all at the wall and see what sticks. There is no such thing as a failed experiment, every result, even a negative one, has value. I will be Alfred, Lord Tennyson “To strive, to seek to find, and never to yield.”

 

Award nominee – Ausmumpreneur business awards

I was floored to discover that 10% Inspired was a nominee in the Ausmumpreneur business awards this year! I don’t know who nominated me, but I have to say a huge thank you, and that I am really touched.

Having been offering my services for less than a full 12 months, this completely blew me away!

Nominee badge Ausmumpreneur Awards

Starting next month, voting will open for the people’s choice award, were I am running in the category of ‘making a difference’. Being so new and so early in my journey I don’t expect to win, but I hope that I can shine a little light on the work being done on community building in Tassie, and hopefully give some publicity to The Black Stamp, and the PND support group it represents.

To One in Paradise

My friends at CMW Music put on a performance of ‘To One in Paradise’… I may have mentioned it before… you know, seeing as how my name is in the credits for the music video. Oh look, there it is again.

The live performance went for quite a bit longer, and didn’t hold back on the theatricality either!

CMW Music to one in paradiseI came in at the last minute during rehearsals (with the coffee shakes and the wrong lens in my camera) to shoot some good material. All things considered I’m not unhappy with them.

The show was in the Peacock Theater in Salamanca, which can be a bit of a pest to find, down little lane ways and through the arcade, but it’s well worth the effort. It’s a small space, with uneven walls of bare rock and a very enclosed, secretive atmosphere which worked really well for the production!

Michelle Wood of CMW Music in 'To one in Paradise'

Mid-year Stocktake 2014

Mid-year Stock Take 2014 – I haven’t done one of these before, but I read about it on MakeupMandy.com and followed her link back to Beautyholicsanonymous.com to see what it was all about.

Obviously, I’m not in the beauty game (you’ve SEEN me, right?) but the idea is still nice and I thought we’d give it a go. I didn’t use all the categories as some of them didn’t really apply, and others would have led to me repeating myself (which I do enough of anyway.)

Chicken Soup

My ‘we’re all sick chicken soup’

Cooking: Chicken Soup! Everyone has been sick for almost 3 weeks solid around here and this is the only thing keeping us from disappearing into our own bellybuttons. I’m not a good cook by any stretch, but I quite like my chicken soup, I have to say.

 

 

Energy DrinkDrinking: Wicked Energy Drink. I know, I KNOW, it’s terrible terrible terrible, but I have tow children, I’m sick, and I don’t sleep. It’s this or zombie mumma all day.

 

Reading: Blogs! I’m working on expanding my blog reading and setting up some systems to have them delivered to my kindle and/or tablet in the mornings so they’re easy to find! There is an incredibly vibrant community out there and I want to be more a part of it this year!

Wanting: Motivation, time, sleep… not necessarily in that order. I know that sounds a little down, but I’m actually fairly optimistic about things right now. I think everything is going in a positive direction, I’m just waiting to catch up.

Wishing: I were a tidier person, a more organized person. I operate on a boom-bust cycle. I pull on my big girl pants and organize the heck out of my life, my house and my brain and then, slowly but surely, lose momentum until we once again find ourselves in a position where there is a trampoline in the living room, my daughter has made snowflakes so there are bits of paper everywhere and I haven’t done this morning’s dishes yet.

Enjoying: Having my name on a few things that I’ve done lately, like a Music Video, and the promo photography for a live performance here in Hobart. Seeing it there makes me feel a bit more accomplished!

Loving: My family and to be honest, my life. I complain about things sometimes, but the truth is my children are beautiful and kind, my husband is supportive and sweet (also hot, don’t forget hot) and my friends whether near or far are always available for a chat. Everything is actually pretty sweet. We’re not rich, but we’re not struggling, and for right now, that’s pretty good.

Watching: A whole host of old TV shows that I love. It’s the one positive thing about being sick. I give myself permission to just chill right out and go back through my favorite shows; Hemlock Grove, Castle, Warehouse 13, Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, and Leverage have had complete reviewings so far and I’ve loved every second of it just as much as I did the first time around!

Hoping: That the let-up in my cough means I’ll soon be out the other side of this swine flu and ready to get moving again!

Marvelling: at my daughters, and how much they can love and hate each other in the space of five minutes. They’re so similar in some respects, and in others complete opposites.

Needing: To eat better. I need that quite badly, but nothing has been appetizing lately. This too should come with beating this flu.

Smelling: …ah, unfortunately I’m still smelling the poopy nappy I changed a little while ago… that stuff lingers like a bastard.

Wearing: House pants and old singlets… usually covered with floppy jumpers and daggy cardigans. I’m a classic frumpy house-wife right now, but I’m comfy!

Feeling: cautiously optimistic. Of the things I have applied myself to in the last few months, half of them have come off perfectly, a third is boiling along nicely… and the fourth is my novel which has been kicking my butt for a long time now so I’m kinda used to it. I have the feeling that I might be kicking over into a more productive mode of being. I hope.

Disliking: Vast swathes of global politics.

Coveting: I covet my husband’s immune system, which seems to kill bugs much faster than mine! Also stationary… ALL the stationary!

Hearing: My personalized playlist of songs that inspire or speak to my novel concept. I put it together way back at the beginning of NaNoWriMo two years ago when this concept first came to me. Each song brings to mind a scene in the story, or a character relationship, or a revelation in the plot. I like to direct little music video’s in my head peopled by my characters and set in their world.