Sexy is in the Self Confidence

I’m tiptoeing around the edges of a new concept (I know, I know, I need to stop having new concepts. Sue me.)

It probably all started when I came across The Militant Baker in the news. She got big, like bigger than big, after an unbelievably cool open letter to the somewhat uncool owner of the Abercromie & Fitch clothing line. He said some pretty crappy things about fuller figured people, and how they don’t belong in his clothing line…

She visually kicked his arse (seriously, click the above link). It was awesome! I now follow her religiously on all available channels, it might be a mild case of celebrity stalking, but I live in Tassie and she’s in Tuscon, so I doubt she’s particularly worried about me.

Some time later I wrote a piece called ‘When you’re lookin’ like that‘ here on the blog. It was about how I saw someone else wearing an awesome fedora, immediately decided that even though I loooooved it, I could never wear something cool and my husband said an insightful thing. He said, “The only difference between her and you, is that she’s wearing that hat in public.” My husband is gorgeous sometimes.

For a long time now, basically since the baking process for my children robbed me of the ability to conveniently see my toes, I’ve felt flat. Uncool. The short, fat bird who somehow managed to score a 6’2 bilingual computer nerd and everyone is glaring at me thinking I totally don’t deserve to tap that. I has the body issues. It’s not cool. In fact, it’s crap, an it should go away. This has lead me to a title and a tag line…


Now, I’m not a ‘fashion person’. I was raised by a single parent father, as has been previously mentioned, I know about shooting. Hunting. The history of warfare and how to build any number of things that would be very useful during a zombie apocalypse (trust me, you want me on your team. Rally point is at my house in case of world ending.) I’ve never been confident with clothes, shoes, make up or any kind of fashion choice really.

I’d like to tell you a little story. I have, on my desk, one of those make up kit things. It’s got a load of eye shadows, lip stick, blush etc, all in one weird mechanical do-hickey. My daughter, who is 5, regularly asks if I’ll put some on her, which I dutifully do. She tends to pick colours at random, pointing them out imperiously and directing how I apply them. You know what? She looks freakin’ fab! How? Why? Did I somehow give birth to a feminine savant? She can’t spell her last name yet but she’s magic with make up? Course not. She looks amazing because when I paint her face, she owns it. She picks out her colours with purpose, because those are the ones she wants, and she wears them with style.

That’s what we all need. To chose our colours, our cuts, our shoes and our flair and to wear them all with style! I think I’d like to do something to help bring that about. To inspire women (men too, if they’re fabulous) to be as comfortable and confident as my 5 year old with their bodies and their choices about what to put on them.

What do you think? I haven’t done anything particularly visual before, but I do love my camera, and I feel quite strongly about this kind of thing. In fact, check me out in my Liptember lippy this week!


Oi vay… I gotta do something with those eyebrows. I look like John Howard!

8 Comments on Sexy is in the Self Confidence

  1. You own it already. Great post x

  2. You know its about going for it. Nobody else cares, they’re in their own world. Oh and I buy eyeshadow which comes in a palette of four and tells me where to put what on my eye. Always looks good that way.

  3. Brows are in if you check out my post this week!! Seriously though you look great and I’m all about beauty being about confidence rather than being Chi Chi. Great post.

    • Oh really??? I will have to go check that out right now! I’ve been in horror of my brows my whole life!

  4. I love this post! And what great thoughts to take away – I loved what your hubby said! And you’re so right about kids, if we all had their self confidence, we’d be so much better off. And a lot of people in the media and marketing industries would have to find something a bit more worthwhile to do with their time..

  5. I wouldn’t seem them to be quite at John Howard status at the moment,LOL. I have been of the same view lately, at the ripe old age of 40, and seeing the eagerness and freeness of my 3 yr old daughters make up creativeness. I seem to have lost my own individuality since age 18 and now. I’ve let mummyhood get in the way I think. My bad. Confidence has lots to do with it too :)

  6. Just yesterday, I was admiring this chick’s hair cut, and thought I could never pull it off, cause it would make my face look fat.
    The stupid thing is, she was chubbier than me. It’s just that she has the self confidence to wear it and I don’t. I think there is a lot to be said for confidence, and we do just need to own things. My MIL does not approve of my latest desire to wear bright coloured eyeshadow, but I don’t care on that one. I love it :)

  7. jeanieinparadise // 11/09/2013 at 9:56 pm // Reply

    You have awesome eyebrows!! I truly think the secret is surrounding yourself with people who think you are gorgeous – and the way to achieve that is to believe that you are gorgeous – and not only don’t listen to the voice that given the negative commentary, but put it on mute.

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