How many of you need to learn to take a compliment?
I am surrounded by awesome people, pretty much all the time. They’re so awesome they make me kinda sick actually, because I’m so ordinary. I sat in my best friend’s kitchen last night and watched her make a cake. a spectacular thing of cascading fondant and chocolate penguins (seriously) all formed into an ice flow on glittery blue board. This thing rocks, we’re going to eat it later today *g*. When it was done, she slipped it into the fridge, looked at me and said, “Thanks for the help.”
Help? Me? I sat on this here stool and watched you make something awesome! I didn’t help. I controlled the music, that’s about it…
She told me that wasn’t true though. When the fondant stuck and wrinkled, I suggested we use some of the blue dust stuff to colour it so it looked like an ice flow breaking away, which worked pretty well. When she couldn’t get it to set quite right, I suggested a brush stroke technique to get the colouring where she wanted it. She said I had an artists eye, and that it had made a difference.
Artists eye? I can’t draw or paint for peanuts! I used to live with these mad art geeks who are totally amazing (Gosh they made me feel useless, notice how everyone else is always sooooo much more talented, soooo much more worth while…?) Not me though. I’m just ordinary.
It’s so much easier to see these amazing things in other people. To recognize a skill or talent that we don’t have and be envious of it… but if *I* can do something, then it must just be an easy thing to do, right? Well how come that is? I’ve read that it’s a woman thing, that we have a habit of under valuing ourselves. I’ve read it’s a self esteem thing, and that it stems from deep doubts about our own worth.
Whatever the case, it needs to stop.
I helped my friend to make something beautiful (and tasty) that she’d have had trouble with on her own. I certainly couldn’t have made it on my own, I can’t cook to save my life, but together we did something cool! How many things have you done this month, this week, or even today, that someone else thought were pretty cool, but you dismissed… because it was you who did them?
My guess is quite a few. From the perfect pantry organization (which, like cooking, is completely out of my reach) to hitting a high note, you’ve done something lately that another person would be envious of. You have talents, skills, worth and value, and a lot of us aren’t taking them seriously.
You don’t have to want to make a living out of them (though some certainly could) you don’t even have to want to show them off, that’s fine. What you shouldn’t be doing though, is dismissing them as though they were easy, as though they weren’t as good as the things others can do.